Here's the setup: trashy birthday party, missing teeth, deep female voices (you know, the kind druggies have) and an 8% tip.
I am halfway across the restaurant and I hear this bellowing voice. I go over to see what the commotion is all about and I see some crackhead lady reading a birthday card out loud. And I mean OUT LOUD. The ten neighboring tables were just staring like, "what the fuck?!". I assume the one crackhead was reading the card because the other crackhead couldn't read. Or maybe she was too busy gnawing on her bottom lip to read. Either way, the moral of the story is that when speaking or reading to someone when you are in public and they are 18 inches away, go ahead and use that 18 inch voice. Not the 35 foot cackle.
Oh and I don't care that you are paying $10 a plate, that's still not a green light to make a scene. The people around you are paying the same (oh wait, more because they actually tip well) and they don't want to listen to your crackhead ass all night.
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