It's Cool, We Work In A Restaurant Too.

I love this one.  We are closing down the restaurant and it's just a few minutes before we lock the doors.  There are 2 tables paid up and ready to go and we're home free!  Then, out of nowhere comes this group of 4 twenty somethings that seem kind of normal.  I'm thinking, what is with that?!  Then they utter those words that seem to come around a little too often with these super late tables; "oh don't worry, we work in the industry, we know how it is".

Oh, ok, as long as you know you are being assholes, it's ok.  We completely understand.  And now we know you do too.  We'll put our smiles back on and take extra special care of some of "our own compadres".  Bullshit.  You might as well have not said anything at all.  You would have looked like less of a hypocritical dumbass.  I'd rather serve a drunk crackhead at 2 minutes before close than you assholes.

We're glad you "know how it is", and we think it's swell that you don't give a shit anyway.  Thanks bro!

Sit Down and Shut Up

I don't get this one.  We show this clown to his table last night and he says he wants a booth and points to a clean one, and the host says, "yes, we can go there".  Well, just so happens that he was NOT the only customer in the building, so at the same time, another hostess sat a different table at the booth the original clown had pointed to.  Well that switched this guy into 5-year-old mode.  "I wanted that one" he says as if he's talking about a red-orange Crayon.  He then proceeds to throw a little fit and sits at a different, perfectly fine booth with a pout on his face.

I bet his date was impressed.
He really showed us.  

Excuse You?!

This has been one of my pet peeves for a long, long time.  I was looking for some inspiration for my first post, and I immediately got it once this asshole crossed my path.

So I'm just minding my own business, sweeping the floor at the restaurant when, out of nowhere, comes this 20 something girl who has plenty of room to get by me anyway, but decides to say "excuse you" while walking past me.  She said it in a nice way though.  As nice of a way as you can say something as asinine as that. It didn't matter.

"Excuse you" is probably one of the worst things you can say to someone.  Even in conversation, when someone says "excuse you", your reaction is "oh shit, what did I say"?  However, when trying to get past someone and opening with that line, you are an instant bitch.  Nothing says asshole to me more than you walking around everywhere thinking you own the place and that everyone should get out of your way.  I understand if someone is being an ass and purposely not moving out of the way or something, but what is with people who just drop that line like it's okay?!  It's not.

So "excuse you" for being a fucking bitch.

First Things First

I love people.  In all of their crazy, stupid things they do, I really believe that most people are generally good, decent people.  We just sometimes have our moments of jackassery.  By writing this blog, am I saying that I am perfect?  NO.  Do I care what you think?  NO.  Do I hope you are entertained?  Yes.  Offended?  Only if you are a topic of one of the posts. 

Enjoy!